5 Quick reminders when arguing with your partner

Before you blow-up, you'd do well to remember....



1. You’re on the same team. Generally, we forget that the person we have chosen to dance with is actually there to support us and help us. Simply remembering that you are working towards the same goal will ease tension between the two of you.


2. Good communication is a must. Using I-statements such as “I need you to do this because…,” can be difficult, but it is much better than saying “You’re not doing what you need to.” By restricting verbal communication to your feelings, you can help to avoid escalating conflict.



3. Accept responsibility. Dance feedback can be difficult because unlike other criticism, when we take dance feedback it is often something about our physical body and not an external object. Accepting responsibility for our actions, especially dance actions, tells your partner that you care about them and want to grow as a dancer.


4. Avoid blaming. Since ballroom dancing requires a close relationship with your partner, it is important to refrain from blaming them since it puts them on the defense. When your partner feels attacked they will shut down or lash out, regardless of the accuracy of your statement.


5. Don’t take feedback personally. Easier said than done! We all know the harsher the feedback, the more difficult it is to be receptive to it. However, the reality is that those moments are our biggest opportunities for growth. We can either embrace it, or choose to ignore it.